It's Not Just a Dream

It's not just a dream

In My Father's Heart are many rooms,
and in His heart is a room just for you.

I've seen how you felt like you were on the outside looking in.
I've seen your tears, when you felt you didn't belong.
I've heard your cries, on those dark and lonely nights, "Won't somebody love me."

I love you, My child.
It's not just a dream. You belong. You belong right here, in My heart.
I know everything there is to know about you. There is nothing you need to hide from Me. I love you just the way you are. You belong to Me.

Now let Me dry your tears, and take away your fears. Never do you need to feel you don't fit, that you don't belong. You belong right here...with Me. You are my dearly loved child, you fit right in.

Look around you, tell Me, do you see that little boy over there, tending his sheep. You see a rugged little boy, I see a King.

Look, there..Do you see her lying there in the dirt, everyone standing around with stones in there hands? You see a harlot, I see a Queen.

It's not just a dream, You are My beloved child. I sent My Son to gather the outcasts, the ones nobody wanted. It's not just a dream. You have always been wanted. By Me.

I love you, My child.

Your AbbaDaddy ♥

You See Me

You See Me

You see me through eyes of LOVE
with a heart that beats for me
You see me through the BLOOD OF CHRIST
that rescued me from the power of sin.
You see me pure, holy, righteous, and complete.
You see me as I should be,
How You see me is REALITY.
The pure in heart will see YOU
and that is how YOU see me.
I can trust You because You are TRUTH,
and cannot lie.
You see me as a holy, glorious BRIDE,
I am holy and I'm justified,
I am blameless and Your LOVED CHILD.
You hold up the mirror of Your WORD,
The perfect law of liberty declaring I AM FREE.
Not bound by the chains of darkness,
but Complete, Perfected and WHOLE.
I am CHOSEN, wholly ACCEPTED IN THE BELOVED.
I am RIGHTEOUS,
SET APART and SANCTIFIED.
You raised me up to sit with YOU
In HEAVENLY PLACES far above all princes
and all thrones, You've sealed me with a promise,
A seal Of LOVE upon my heart,
And called me YOUR OWN.
I am IN CHRIST, and what is TRUE of HIM,
is also TRUE of me, As You SEE HIM,
YOU SEE ME.
AS HE IS, IS my REALITY,
And with me, You are WELL PLEASED.

~SRM

Pools of Love

Pools of Love

Quiet Pools of Love, I find, as I linger here,
in this place with You.
Liquid drops of love falling down my face,
how I've come to see You,
in this Secret Holy Place.
More beautiful than sunrise!
Like the moon draws the tide,
You draw my heart to abide within Yours.

Deep calls to deep,
Your Waves of love, crash over me.
Swelling, Rising,
high above the storm's that threaten me.
You lift me up, upon Your wings of peace,
Your Holy Presence surrounds me,
invades me within, consumes me without,
all that's left, is billows of You.
As I surrender, my emptiness.
You fill me with Yourself.

~SRM

How Long?

How Long?

How long will you falter, how long will you wait
Building castles in the sand, while the wind blows it away
Down goes your house of cards, how long will you run
How long will you tune out my voice, must I thunder
Must I quake the earth, must I lay foundations bare
How long will you tempt Me, as if tempting fate
How dare you ask me how long you must wait!
I am asking the questions now, how long will you wait?

I will shake the heavens, I will shake the earth
All that you built will crumble around you
I will lay foundations bare, the seas will roar
the rocks will tremble,
Your towers will come crashing down
You will scurry to hide from My shaking
You will beat upon your breast in terror
For that which has been, will also be.

Your ears will burn at sound of my coming
Closer and closer, I am coming
No longer will you turn a deaf ear
No longer will you close a blind eye
You will see My brightness
You will hear My thunder
As mountains tremble and the earth quakes
Nothing you hold onto will hold up to the fire of My breath
Let go of those useless things
The idols of mortal men!

Closer and closer, I am coming
Hear that your soul may live!

~SRM

Web of Lies

Web of Lies

Oh what a tangled web he weaves,
the beloved of God he wants to deceive,
creeping thru every thought, every dream,
stealing our hope and true identity.
Til all that we see, is not what it should be.
The truth perverted so that we cannot see,
caught like flies in his deadly flattery.
The lies of the past over which we fought,
buried the truth so that we all forgot.
Under the lies, no one can win,
caught in the web that the wicked one spins.

master deceiver with gossamer thread,
trying to hold us, spellbound and dead.
words of deception, a whispered prose spun,
stealing away truth from each and every one.
Threads bound tightly, we no longer fight,
strapped in to an endless night.
Cocooned in a web, those thread silk lies,
keeping us blinded, unwilling to open our eyes.

We cannot refuse to bring lies to the Light,
for Truth is the weapon that will win this fight.
So don't get caught in his web of lies, or you
will be caught like putrid dead flies.

Take every lie you've ever been told,
cast it down to the ground and let the Truth begin to unfold.
Your eyes will be opened and you'll see who you are,
and you'll see the lies for what they really were.
Strands of deceit to keep you bound in the dark,
so that you would never know who you really are.

~SRM

Lift Up Your Eyes

Lift Up Your Eyes

Lift up your eyes and I will show you
all that I want you to see.

I want you to see Eternity in My eyes,
I want you to see Everlasting in My eyes,
I want you to see Love in My eyes.

I want you to look Me in the eye,
Unafraid.
I see no fault or flaw in you,
Lift up your head and look Me in the eye.

You are beautiful to Me.
You are all I've been waiting,
and longing for.
All of heaven is waiting
to look upon your beauty.

The day of your Unveiling is near.
Keep your head up,
Keep looking at Me,
I won't let you faulter,
I won't let you down.

You are the love of My life,
You are My joy and crown.
You are My chosen,
You are My bride.

1/11/13 SRM

Jer_31:3 The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.
~
2Co_4:18 While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Painting "The Gazing Bride" by Teresa Dittrich
www.forerunnerart.com

Lost and Found

I was lost and lonely, wandering through this world alone,
I searched for a love that could heal my soul,
but that love, I could never find,
only illusions and a big waste of time.

But You found me sitting along the side of the road,
told me of a love that would never grow cold.
You picked me up in all my brokenness,
You washed me, cleansed me, made me whole.

In this life, now I know, I'm no longer lost,
and never alone.
In heartbreak and tears, You are oh so near,
You whisper Your promises in my ear,
You are my hope and security,
You are true love and purity.

No longer alone, no more afraid,
I will cling to You, for You are my very life,
my first and last breath, and every one in between.
No longer lost, but forever found,
In the arms of True Love on higher ground.

Thank You Jesus, Lover of my soul, You've given me life
and made me whole.

I love You Jesus.

2/27/12 SRM

Fractured

Fractured



So many pieces of me

scattered and tossed about
like tumbleweed
ripped around by the wind.




I searched for the pieces
so that I could be complete
so that my heart could mend.

I'd find a piece here or there
while another slipped through
my fingers once again.
I grasped to pull the pieces
into a pile
to sort through like pieces
of a puzzle that I just couldn't
make fit.

But a storm would rise
and the pieces I thought I'd found
were scattered again.
Here I bring the pieces
that I could find
and the pieces I could not.

I open my self to Your loving gaze
and Your refiner's fire
and give You my trust
however fragile it may be
and ask you to make straight
the maze that is me.

7/30/11 SRM

Love Without Strings

It's so hard to comprehend a love with no strings,

a love that demanded not that I please.
 I stood on the edge of love for so long,
not knowing that I could come in.


When You opened the door to me,
 I stood at the thresh hold questioning.
How could this be,
when what I thought was love
brought only suffering?


I saw You standing there,
Your arms wide beckoning,
I could not trust a love that
came so free.


I saw You hanging there,
between two thieves,
Your arms spread wide for all to see,
Your eyes spoke to me
as You hung on that tree.

Still I could not understand,
why You would do that,
for me.

How could Your love run so deep
and Your blood run so free,
It could not have been worse
had Your heart been ripped from Your chest,
When all the love You knew
had to look away from You.


But You chose to suffer,
Ultimate Rejection,
A Father's heart was broken,
as the ground trembled,
No greater love had ever spoken.


"It is Finished," with Your last breath,
Your eyes looked off passed time and space,
Seeing the Joy that would soon be Yours,
A final tear slid down Your face.


So here I stand,
at the thresh hold again,
And Here You are, holding out Your hand.
Not so long ago, I would have ran and hid,
but now...I trust, and place my hand in Yours.


The day of Joy before You,
had finally arrived, and for love
that came so freely, I no longer had to strive.
I put my hand in Yours, and became Your promised Bride.

7/15/11 SRM

Gentle Breaking

Gentle breaking
Heart aching
Remembering
How often I pushed you aside
And here I'd find you waiting
Never pushing
Never condemning
Just lovingly patiently waiting

I stumbled through the dark cold world
looking for love
but it was a love I could never find
Not in a world
Where love grows cold
and searching a waste of time

Here I am, no longer searching
For what I had all the time
You broke through to my heart
that had encased in ice
and melted my defenses

Your tender whispers
kindled a flame
that melted my heart
healing my pain.

Down came the walls
scattering the shadows
of hidden shame,
No more sorrow
or sadness will beckon me again.

Your Love broke through
restoring my soul,
redeeming lost time
and giving me hope.
No longer an orphan,

but a child with a home.

7/10/11 SRM

My Esther Year

     Years ago the Lord gave me a word about my future husband, and when the Lord gave me that word, I guess I thought it was going to be soon, and when a man would come into my life, I would always think, "Is this the one?" I always knew the answer, before I even asked. I met a man in 2009 and I tried to believe that he was 'the one.' And I didn't listen to that still small voice that said "No, he's not the one." I had let my own desire become bigger than that still small voice, and I got involved with that man, and ended up devastated and heartbroken all because I didn't listen to that Voice. So in December of '09 I sat in my room, feeling sorry for myself mostly, and angry at myself, and I told myself, I am not looking at another guy ever again, but quickly that changed from forever to a year. Then these words, dropped into my spirit, "An Esther Year." At the time I wasn't sure what that meant, so I went to the book of Esther. Esther had a year of preparation to go through before she could be brought to the King.  So I'm thinking, "Oh, okay, God wants to use this year to get me ready for my husband." Yeah, even as I write this I am laughing too. But little did I know what God had in store for me. So January 2010 began my Esther year. Now my attention was no longer on a husband, I went back to the book of Esther and noticed that the first 6 months of Esther's year was with treatments of the oil of myrrh. The significance of myrrh for me was death to self. And I didn't think those 6 months would ever end..LOL, and I was right, they don't. The next 6 months were beautification treatments. So I had an idea...but His ways are not our ways, nor His thoughts our thoughts...During this year, my desperation and hunger for God only heightened, I reached a point where I cried out, "Jesus, I have to know You or die." And the Lord met me in that place of hunger and began to reveal Himself to me more and more. I have fallen in love with Jesus, and He IS my husband. God Himself said, "I AM A JEALOUS GOD, and you will have no other gods before me." In a sense, my desire for a husband had become a god. And God used that very desire for a husband, to separate me from it. Now I am not so sure that the Esther year ever comes to an end, and I still desire to have a husband, but God is so much bigger than that desire, God is my focus, He has ALL my attention, and He is First. Jesus is my First Love, and His love IS enough, so whether or not I ever have a physical husband, I am completely satisfied in Him, with Him. Sometimes I can't imagine having to make time for a husband, when Jesus is all I want. At least I know now, that the man God has for me, will be so in love with Jesus, and Jesus will be his First Love, that some how it will work, and we will both be in love with Jesus together.  I guess I said all this to say, the Esther Year wasn't about me getting a husband, but about me having THE HUSBAND, Jesus. And with Him, the honeymoon never ends.
~

I got so desperate to change...I knew I wasn't making it on my own, and I knew there was more...and I felt like I really didn't know Jesus...and out of that desperation I just cried out to Jesus, I have to know you, I felt as though my life depended on it, and it really did, He is my life...but it wasn't always like that...I wanted God, but at a distance..in this nice little box where I could still have what I wanted and I could take God out of the box whenever it was convenient...ha, that was a hoot. I ended up in a box or a cell..lol, a crack addict, and alone..or so I felt most of my life, but surrender happened in stages, and God never left me alone, even in the worst of my sin, drugs, sex, guys, etc...he drew me with cords of love, and I came to a crossroads and said okay, I surrender...that was the beginning..that was back in 04...but I still tried to do things my way...a better way, but still my way..ha, that didn't work either...so okay...I gave up, it's His way...and His way is so much better, so much higher and so much lovelier..the only regret I have is that it took me so long to reach that end of me...and to find Him reaching, always reaching...even when we run..so now..I run to Him instead of away from Him. He never leaves me or forsakes me, and His love is everlasting and immeasurable, every day I find more and more depth to His love, and there is no place I would rather be than in His loving arms...so that's where I will stay...always. This world no longer attracts me, men...naaa, not interested...drugs, forget about it...its all gone, now a godly husband, that would be okay...when the Lord brings him into my life, that will be just fine, but I'm not looking...only waiting, on the Lord. His promises are sure, even when I'm not, and He truly is the love of my life, and all my joy, my pleasure, my satisfaction, is in Him. It truly is a love affair of a different kind, a divine romance...He is worth the pursuit...and He makes Himself so easy to catch.
3/20/11 Sheila R. Martin

Exposed

So much time, I let slip through my hands, time stolen, but You can restore.

It hurts to be vulnerable again, to even let You in to all those raw places, where wounds wouldn't heal.

But I need You now.
Come in and heal those places.
Take the pain even of things
I can not see,
the things I hid, even from myself.

Tear down the walls
that I've tried to hide behind.
I stand before You
exposed and overwhelmed.

Clothe me with Your Beauty
As I run to hide beneath Your wings.
Wrap Your glory around me
And keep me far from the enemy's charm.

I will waste my life only on You,
Passionately pursuing the Beauty of You.

3/8/11
Sheila R. Martin

There were times, behind a mask I'd hide, like fig leaves worn to hide the shame. I buried my pain in an unmarked grave, when I heard the Savior calling my name. Now beneath the Crimson Tide I hide, Clinging to my Beloved's hand, beneath His wings abide. ~ Sheila R. Martin ~ Rom 8:1 There is no condemnation now for those who live in union with Christ Jesus.

I Will Follow You

I am Your Bride,
I will follow You
even into desert places,
where no flowers grow.
I am Yours alone,
Your sacred possession,
Your precious treasure.
You are my Magnificent Obsession,
through barren lands
and desert dunes
I will follow You.

by Sheila R. Martin
2/20/11

 The LORD told me to proclaim this message to everyone in Jerusalem. "I remember how faithful you were when you were young, how you loved me when we were first married; you followed me through the desert, through a land that had not been planted.  Israel, you belonged to me alone; you were my sacred possession. I sent suffering and disaster on everyone who hurt you. I, the LORD, have spoken." ~Jeremiah 2:1-3

Intoxicating Love

Your fragrance still lingers as I whisper Your name,
Your love is intoxicating, sweeter than worldly wine.
You leave me breathless and thirsting for more,
As the taste of Your kiss still sweet on my lips.

Oh I have tasted, and seen You are good,
Sitting in the Shadow of your delight,
Your Word, like water, refreshing my soul,
washing and cleansing and making me whole.

I find you behind and before,
as Your left hand caresses my neck,
and Your right hand embraces me
even through the dark night.

When shadows fall and try to hide,
In the Light of Your countenance,
Is where I abide.

8/3/10 Sheila R. Martin

Son 1:2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.
Son 1:3 Because of the savour of thy good ointments thy name is as ointment poured forth, therefore do the virgins love thee.

I am my Beloved's and His desire is toward me~♥~

Now I'm Found

I once was lost,
but now I'm found.

When in darkness,
I tried to hide,
Covered in my leaves of shame.

You came searching,
calling out my name.
How could I respond,
carrying about my fear and pain.

Many had written me off,
a lost cause, a lamb
with no name.

I wore rejection
like a cloak,
the weight of sin
was crushing me.

In the pit of miry clay,
covered in bristles, briars and thorns,
I could not lift my eyes,
to see beyond the storm.

But there You were,
still smiling at me.
Through the eye of the storm,
You carried me.

You washed me off,
with the water of Your Word,
You called me your child,
and gave me a new name.

You clothed me in Your righteousness,
and hid me beneath the
shadow of Your wings.
In the cleft of the Rock,
You sang over me.

I once was lost,
but now I'm found,
and You've set my feet
on solid ground.

8/6/10 sheila r. martin

The Beauty of Your Love

The beauty of Your Love
is that no matter how lost I get,
You always find me and
I am never outside Your reach.

You extend Your mercies anew,
and any day is a good day
to begin again.

Even when it seems like nothing
is happening,
and not much has changed.
I know You are working in me,
making me what You want me to be.

I need more of You,
I want to know You,
and to be known by You.

Sheila R. Martin 9-10-10

Sometimes Mercy is Messy

Sometimes mercy is messy.

Sometimes we squander our
time and money to fulfill our lusts,
but can never quench the desire that
burns within our hearts for love,
for purpose, for destiny.

An inheritance received before it's due,
and squandered in the parlor of sin
and deceit.

Wallowing in the mud and eating
what's not even fit for the pigs.

Empty pockets and empty bottles,
but the worst of emptiness
lies within us.

Addictions and habits,
seeking fulfillment and satisfaction,
that continues to leave
void of hope.

Sometimes mercy leaves us
hanging at the end of our rope.

Sheila R. Martin 9-11-10

Stones in My Pocket

Stones in my pocket
from places I have been,
Each have a story to tell.

What history have they
witnessed far beyond my own?

Jacob laid his head upon a stone,
the night the heavens opened
and he wrestled with God.

Altars built with stones
to remind us
how far we've come.

Moses struck the stone
when he was told to only speak.

On the Rock, the church was built,
the revelation of Jesus Christ.

A rock was hewn and a stone was rolled,
as Jesus rose in resurrection life.

Jesus became the Cornerstone,
of the Temple not made with hands.

If we do not render praise to God,
the stones will find their voice.

Tablets of stone,
where laws were writ,
their voice was loud and clear.

Laws in stone could not be kept,
A Stony heart must find its flesh.

The stones in my pocket,
they have a story to tell,
they've witnessed history
far beyond my own.

If you listen closely,
the Ancient stones sing,
of the soon and coming King.

9-25-10 sheila r. martin

Emmaus Road

Emmaus Road

Promises now lay in a darkened tomb,
All hope seems to have taken wings and flown away.
Weariness, apprehension and fear,
onslaughts of the enemy try to weaken my grasp.

How long must I hold onto a remote dream,
when all that I loved it seems,
was just an illusion?

The city of peace now in chaos and riot,
expectations lying in dust, feeling
broken hearted, numb and empty.

Traveling down that dusty road,
questions assault my mind, and rip
at my heart.

My eyes were blinded by all the fears and doubts,
I could not see You there with me.
But then I remembered, and my heart began to burn.

To walk in the higher realm,
where eyes of faith do see,
I must look at what is unseen,
and keep my eyes on You.

My every step is ordered,
even on Emmaus Road.

If we are to burn,
we must take that road.
For it leads us once again,
to our first and only Love.

A'men

Sheila R. Martin 9/28/10